


where did my spring go?

by aejikun



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, M/M, Reconciliation, Self-Indulgent, Spring, Swing Set, this is kinda dramatic lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:33:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27775402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aejikun/pseuds/aejikun
Summary: they grew apart just before sunwoo decided to move away and then they completely lost touch. unbeknownst to sunwoo, changmin still comes to this spot to reminisce about the good, old days. when sunwoo takes a seat on the old swing, relaxing in the gentle breeze, the familiar, but aged, voice of changmin catches his attention.
Relationships: Ji Changmin | Q/Kim Sunwoo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18
Collections: Die Jungz Fest (R1)





	where did my spring go?

**Author's Note:**

> writing a fanfiction based on your own traumas check-
> 
> this is my first work of angst, wanted to try something different :')
> 
> i'm a bingo writer, and i'm filling out the spring and bloom tiles on bingo board #06 with this fic
> 
> prompt by plots for all !

sunwoo walked towards the dilapidated barn, his converse clad feet sliding against the asphalt. it was surrounded by tall, pale green grass, undoubtedly harborring bugs and pests of all kinds. a soft breeze of wind combed through his hair as the rural ground brought back warm memories. he knew his way around the place like the back of his hand.

even after being away from what felt like forever, it seemed to remain the same. sunwoo walked through the itchy grass, a familiar swing set coming into view. it moved back and forth as the wind picked up once again, and it creaked in retaliation. 

a slight smile grew on his face, seeing it still intact. he jogged towards the play set and took a seat on one of the two swings. the chains at his sides felt rough in his hands, evidence that it aged through the years. he gently swayed on the wooden plank, feeling content for the first time in a few days. as he sits there, he reminisces about old times. 

sunwoo remembers sneaking away here with his friends after a long day of school and sitting in the comfortable silence it provided. they blew bubbles in the mild weather spring brought and ate popsicles in the summer’s intense heat. but out of all the times he’s hung out here, most of them were spent with his best friend changmin. they first met during their pre-pubescent years of high school. sunwoo was the new kid at school, and initially he had trouble adjusting to the new environment he was thrown into. he hated the feeling of being an outsider among the rest and not knowing his way around. then there was the one kid with dimples you could swim in sitting with him at lunch, trying to start a conversation. 

sunwoo didn’t expect it, for during the few days he spent there, he felt as if he was a ghost haunting the school. changmin sympathized with him, as he too knew about the dred that came with moving to a new school. he promised sunwoo that eventually it’ll get better, but there’s no way he didn't hear the doubt in sunwoo’s voice as he muttered a quiet ‘right’ at his assurance.

they spent the rest of their high school years together, joined at the hip and growing closer every day. they helped each other make sense of the hellscape society calls school. 

sunwoo’s warm memories soon turn cold as he remembers the later years. sunwoo had to go to university and he had gotten accepted to numerous schools, however there was one school he had his eye on from the start. the only thing keeping him back was how far away it was from his home. if he picked that school, he would be miles away from his family and friends and would essentially be on his own. 

he told changmin, and he could read the hint of apprehension in his face. whatever he wanted to say to sunwoo got pushed to the back of his mind and was replaced with a beaming congrats. 

"if that's what you wanna do.." changmin said, wearing a soft smile. 

when sunwoo first moved to the city, that familiar feeling of being out of place started to creep back into his life, except this time he had placed it upon himself. being out of reach of the security his parents gave him was scary at first, but he managed to push through anyways.  


sunwoo had gotten used to college faster than he expected, however. with time, he found out that it was more inviting than it was portrayed in movies. lots of people his age coming there with a dream, just like him. no one knew each other, making it easier to meet people. all the while, he would only keep in touch with his distant friends through social media and phone calls.

it felt nice to call changmin deep into the night until his soft voice lulled him to sleep. sunwoo enjoyed making shitty jokes just to hear his childlike giggle; it meant the world to him to know that he was happy. when sunwoo felt a bit glum, changmin would sense it in his voice and pester him until he gave in. it was always annoying in the moment, but sunwoo knew he only did it because he cared. it was like there was no distance between them at all. 

at some point, college grew to be more stressful than fun. responsibilities and work relentlessly piled upon one another, bound fall at some point. sunwoo could only try to keep the soaring tower from collapsing. sunwoo busied himself trying to get his life together, and eventually, he grew away from some of his friends, including changmin. 

when he texted changmin, his responses were icy. tension hung over their conversations, and they didn’t last as long as they used to. he knew that their friendship was steadily slipping through his fingers, and his heart ached at the thought.

he felt helpless. 

sunwoo’s momentum on the swing depleted and his whole body slumped over. a defeated sigh left his lips, disheartened by the places his mind managed to take him. maybe it’s just a part of growing up, he thinks. maybe them being miles apart was meant to be. 

even after all that time away, no one has come close to replacing changmin, and sunwoo thinks no one ever will. 

a symphony of singing birds and the rustling nearby trees surrounded him as he sat alone on the swing. he stares ahead, stares deep into nature in thought. sunwoo thinks about leaving and exploring the rest of the town instead and forget all about this when he hears subtle footsteps disturbing the grass. 

“sunwoo?” he hears a familiar voice.

sunwoo turned to his left and he felt his eyes widen. he hadn’t seen him in so long that it didn’t even feel real. a handful of emotions bloomed inside of him at the sight of the other boy. 

“changmin..” sunwoo marvelled. 

he had the same deep brown eyes and comforting voice sunwoo was used to. he looked about as confused as sunwoo was, wondering why he was here. his hair danced between black and brown as he sat in the sunlight. sunwoo wanted to combust right then and there. he had no idea what to say to him. changmin walked towards the swing set and sat next to sunwoo like everything was normal. 

“what are you doing here?” changmin asked. sunwoo attempted to gather all his thoughts together, trying to make a somewhat coherent response. 

“i don’t know, really..” sunwoo answered, looking down at the ground. ”i missed this place, is all,” 

i missed you, he thinks. 

"me too," changmin replied, softly swinging back and forth. their exchange of words ends momentarily. sunwoo senses how it quickly becomes awkward and again wishes that he didn’t move away. 

“you look like a kicked puppy,” changmin’s voice cuts through the thick silence, “what’s wrong?” 

sunwoo looked up at him. he hated the way his thoughts would start racing at the question. he didn’t know how to put his feelings into words, and didn't know if he should even answer it; he tried anyway.

“i just don’t get why you’re not mad at me,” from what sunwoo had seen, it was like the situation never happened. maybe changmin wanted to forget it happened, but sunwoo couldn’t do that so easily. memories of their shaky friendship plagued his mind everyday.

“i mean, when i moved away, i left everything behind, including you.” sunwoo pauses. “i’m the reason we grew apart.” the last sentence is sad as much as it is true. changmin softly exhales, looking down at his feet.

“i was never mad at you, sunwoo. i didn’t know what to do knowing that we were growing apart,” he explained. “we didn’t talk for awhile.. and when we started again, it was like talking to a different person,” 

the words lingered in the air for a while before he continued, looking up at sunwoo, “i don’t want you to think it was your fault though,” he said, look intense but words sincere. his voice went quiet, like he was hushing a baby.

sunwoo stills, taking in all of his words. changmin had described it in ways he never could. it surprises sunwoo, however. he knew him as one to conceal his feelings, to hide his sorrow from the world. sunwoo was the opposite; people could read him like a book. he couldn’t decide if it was a good or bad thing.

“i’m sorry for being so distant, anyways. i was too focused on school, and it costed me our friendship,” sunwoo apologized. 

“hey, don’t be sorry for focusing on school,” changmin interjected, “that’s what you’re supposed to do,” he had a hint of a smile on his face. the atmosphere their heavy conversation gradually loosened. 

“i guess so,” sunwoo replied. he breathed a relieved sigh as his mind slowly unwinded. he closed his eyes and let the sun warm his soul. no more did it feel like winter in his heart. he was hopeful for the recovery of their friendship.

“i’m happy to see you again,” 

"i’m happier," changmin challenged. sunwoo rolled his eyes with a knowing smirk on his face. 

“hey, i have spring break next week.” changmin told him, “maybe we can catch up then?” sunwoo didn’t have spring break for another two weeks, but that wasn’t going to stop him from spending his much needed time with changmin. 

“of course, we can,” sunwoo agreed, no hesitation in his voice. he was glad that he doesn’t have to spend another day worrying about the future of their friendship. the memories that once brought him despair now played happily in his mind in hopes he could create more with the other boy.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading !!
> 
> (hopefully there were no typos-)


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